On Suicide

 Suicide is a painful topic hurting many individuals in our society. Besides ending the lives of many, suicide rips holes through families, traumatizing family and friends of the deceased. September has been named Suicide Prevention Month, and it's as good a chance as any to connect a little more on a heavy topic.

Suicide is a choice, but one brought on by poor mental health, despair and poor thinking. It is not freely chosen. Wrong turns have been taken to come to this wrong-headed conclusion that taking one's life is a necessary evil. For those in modern times who see choice as the ultimate good, it can be hard to have a response to suicide, though we may innately still feel it's wrongness. Suicide is however as much a flaw with our society as it is an individual choice. 

Despair and loneliness have a heavy hand to play in these deaths. Loneliness has reached a point that it is now considered a health crisis. Without a circle of support, it can be hard to keep going in dark times. Depression and other mental health disorders of course play a role. Another less recognized driver is a change in how many view humanity. 

With economy, utility, productivity and efficiency forming a new basis of understanding value to the exclusion of other values, not all human lives are considered equal. While those who are healthy and hardworking are celebrated, those who are ill, including the mentally ill, may not be considered worthwhile. The homeless, the immigrant, the disabled and the unborn (and especially the disabled unborn) are hard to justify when cost and profit are the only measurements taken. When society falls for the lie that some lives are disposable, the fabric of our very society is damaged. Our understanding of who is worthy and who is not is inherently degraded. If net worth is the only thing that matters, a person may feel like they are a burden or worthless unless they are a "well worker" and decide to take their own life. When we unravel one corner of the blanket, we can't prevent other areas from being unraveled as well. One illustration of this is that disabled individuals seeking medical care in Canada are reporting pressure to accept medical aid in dying, even if their condition is not terminal. 

The good news is, life has worth and meaning, in every human being, outside of their utility. You are more than your bank account, your job, your wellness, your fitness level or your credit score. I don't want to live in a society where children are considered a drain but millionaires waste money cryogenically freezing themselves to "prolong" their potential life. I want to live in a world with flawed, broken people, because we're all flawed and broken. Eugenics was the terrible thought experiment of the early 20th century, and it led to the gas chambers of Nazi Germany. When we choose who lives and who dies, we always choose wrong- including if we choose to end our own life. It is never acceptable to solve economic problems with a death sentence. 

QPR training is a suicide prevention program frequently given to healthcare providers. It means: "Question, Persuade, Refer". Asking a loved one whether they are considering suicide is an important first step. Next, we work to persuade them to get help (and stay alive). Finally, we look to making a connection with a competent, compassionate mental health provider or treatment helps to complete the loop. This is one tool that can be used to help those in need. 

Several years ago, I was able to attend a workshop on suicide prevention at the Rocky Mountain Conference, a yearly conference of pro-life pregnancy support centers. One of the things I learned is that frequently those young people who die due to suicide have been found to have 3 things in common: a lack of a sense of who they are, and no sense of who loves them and no sense of who needs them. I have introduced my yearly religious education classes by asking my students to identify various ways to describe those three things. This is one small thing I can do to help remind these children to see themselves as worthy, lovable and loved. 

Pope Francis speaks of St John Vianney consoling a widow whose husband died by jumping from a bridge. St. John Vianney told her, "God's mercy is between the bridge and the river . . ." I will continue to pray for God's mercy for all of us in all of our collective struggles. 

I have a friend who always posts (and rightly so) to call her for support at any time. I'd like to echo that to anyone who's struggling with mental health, with feelings of worthlessness. Don't hesitate to reach out. Your life is worth so much, and suffering is hard, but you don't deserve a death sentence. I want to see you live.