Things That Pro-Choice People Say That Drive Their Pro-Life Friends Crazy

Most of my friends and readers know that I am deeply pro-life. It is at the core of who I am and I am not afraid to share that with anyone. I have quite a number of pro-choice friends- we don't have to agree with our friends on everything and we respect each other. However, on social media right now,  the contention between pro-life and pro-choice folks has hit a fevered pitch. And the animosity is spilling over into real life. For instance, my sister in law was driving down the road in the city and the passenger in a neighboring car started flipping her off. She continued to flip her off for several blocks and when they both stopped at a traffic light, this individual got out of her car and tried to remove her pro-life bumper sticker. Luckily, that was the extent of the altercation, but it was unsettling! It seems right now that the divide between the sides in this debate is so deep. Anger is bubbling up on both sides. Here are some of the things that bother those of us on the Pro-life side of the debate

1. Antiabortion Advocates: Whenever you are opposed diametrically with an adversary and want to come together to dialogue about your differences, the respectful thing to do is to use your opponent's self chosen terms. I ask you, if you reject the words pro-life and instead use the words anti-abortion advocate, then wouldn't that leave the opposing side's term "pro-abortion"? Most, if not quite all, pro-life people would not use the term "pro-abortion" to refer to people who are pro-choice. So, be respectful and use the term pro-life or sanctity of life advocate.

 

Some people are rejecting the term pro-life because they say that the pro-life community isn't doing other things that are pro-life: opposing wars, providing education, protecting the environment, helping immigrants, or helping those in poverty. They may say that in order to be pro-life, you have to look at a multitude of factors. I would agree that these arenas are worthy and important things to do. There is always more to do! But people have to start somewhere. So, start with what is important to you! You would have to look at all of those other factors as well, but also at protecting life. So, pro-life would mean protecting life in the womb + protecting the environment, opposing wars and the death penalty, etc.  But you can't really claim to be pro-life without leading with the main sanctity of life issues such as abortion and euthanasia. It's confusing to add more things to the category, but it does not completely negate the category by saying well, why don't you care about  XYZ? Some say that those which call themselves pro-life should instead call themselves pro-pregnancy or pro-birth; but do these terms make any sense? Would a politician let you know he was an abortion advocate by saying he was anti-birth or anti-pregnancy? I hope not!

 

I can offer another example. I volunteer for a breastfeeding organization. Our primary goal is providing breastfeeding support. There are lots of other  things that are important when providing maternal support; lots of other organizations who support moms. There are maternity leave rights, there is maternal mental health, there are infant massages, there is PIWI (Parents Interacting With Infants), there is WIC, there is natural child birth. But our breastfeeding organization does not focus on any of these other categories because they look at the primacy of the mission which is to provide breastfeeding support.

 

So, for the people who are active in the pro-life ministry, the primacy of the mission has to do with trying to help prevent abortion. These individuals' main objective is to support women in a crisis pregnancy and come alongside them and help them have the resources they need to choose life. There is room for a lot of other services, but for a pro-life person, preventing abortion is a key component to the goal. So, please be respectful and use the term pro-life.

 

2. Reproductive Rights. Anything having to do with rights sounds good. We like to defend rights in our country. So, a politician might say use a euphemism like "I want to protect women's reproductive rights" instead of the more straightforward, " I want women to have access to abortion". This is probably because abortion remains one of the largest polarizing issues in our country. When a politician is talking about protecting women's reproductive rights, what is he even talking about? Abortion is the main issue that comes to mind. No one is seriously working towards or advancing any sort of legislation to end contraception, even those of us who do not use it for moral reasons or believe that it is part of the problem. Since people don't like the sound of abortion, don't like to talk about it or think about it, politicians use the cool sounding phrase "reproductive rights" instead. Why do I have a problem with this phrase? 

 

Firstly, because it is inaccurate. Abortion is not actually about reproduction, so it is inaccurate to classify it as so. It is actually the opposite. It is anti-reproduction. it is anti-fertility. You may think me nit-picky, but saying abortion is a reproductive right is like saying censorship protects the freedom of speech. 

 

Secondly, calling it a right makes us sound like we have autonomy over our bodies. We're the ones in charge. We're the ones in control- "I am a woman, so I can choose whatever I like". But this is not how the natural system or God's plan works. We don't have autonomy over our bodies at all! If we did, we could say things like, "I have the right to not get cancer" or for my daughter, "She has the right to be free of diabetes." Even something as simple as our digestive system- how many women would love to be able to say, "I have the right to have a bowel movement every day." As humans, we hate how much we don't have control of or can't even predict.

 

The reality is, if unprotected intercourse happens when a woman is fertile, she is likely to become pregnant. But there is some mystery involved here, too! As a teenager, I had unprotected intercourse plenty of times (I know, shocking!) and I luckily did not become pregnant. But there are plenty of people who are having protected (or semi-protected) sex and getting pregnant. And there are many people who are trying to conceive and they aren't guaranteed that they will conceive either, even when there is no clear reason systematically that they should not. To me, it is a mixture of the scientific formula of favorable conditions and what I'd label a God moment! There is no way you can guarantee to either conceive or to not conceive, whichever you are aiming for. In prior times, as author Jennifer Fulwiler points out, if you were having sex, the expectation was that you would be having children, and so those who weren't prepared for that were encouraged by society to abstain from sex. This in our modern times has taken a new shape and is called sexual risk avoidance. Either way, we can see that humankind would have died out many years ago if it had not been for the God given gift of our fertility. So, it is clear that we really don't have control over the situation after all.

3. Pro-life people are all white, male, Evangelical Republicans who just want to use access to abortion to control women.

Just as pro-choice people come from every possible background, so do pro-life people. For instance, there is a growing movement in the Democratic party to accommodate individuals who are pro-life. Both Catholics and Evangelicals are overwhelmingly pro-life; but many other Christian sects also are pro-life or have some pro-life members, who oftentimes support some limitations on abortion. This is also true of members of both the Jewish and Islam religions. And a remarkable tale is told in "Black and Prolife in America, the incarceration and exoneration of Walter B Hoye II", in which Walter, a Baptist minister, was arrested for holding a sign in front of a Planned Parenthood building in Oakland, California that said, "God loves you and your baby. Let us help you." The face of the pro-life movement is diverse, and it is both untruthful and simplistic to represent it in the above light.

Just as the face of the pro-life movement is diverse, the motivation behind it is also diverse. Many women who have had abortions themselves join the pro-life movement because they want to help other women avoid what they themselves have gone through. Many of them have galvanized around the "Silent No More" Campaign.  Many people hold strong religious objections to abortion due to the ending of a life of the child. Abortion survivors are another group of people who are speaking loudly in the pro-life movement. So are some individuals with disabilities and those who love them, the same disabilities of which a couple might be counseled to seek an abortion when they find out their child has it, such as Down's Syndrome.

In answer to those who say those who are pro-life are anti-women, there are many pro-life feminists, who argue that abortion itself is damaging for women. Fiorella Nash, for instance, discusses many aspects of this in her book, "The Abolition of Woman: How Radical Feminism Is Betraying Women"  Also, Sue Ellen Browder wrote her expose, "Subverted: How I Helped the Sexual Revolution Hijack the Women's Movement", in which she explains how abortion became one of the calling cards of feminism, as it was not part of the original 1960's women's movement.

 

Many are drawn to the pro-life movement due to the issue of gender-cide, in which baby girls are aborted or suffer infanticide throughout the world based solely on the fact that they are female. Watch this heartbreaking video on the "Save a Girl" campaign to learn more.

Lastly and strongly compelling to me are the number of former abortionists and former Planned Parenthood employees who have joined the pro-life movement. Recently, "Unplanned" was released to national audiences, a movie describing the evolution of Abby Johnson's call from a volunteer to the director of a Texas Planned Parenthood clinic to the pro-life movement (There is also a book by the same title). These individuals witnessed the realities of abortion and turned away from what they could no longer defend.

Clearly there are many faces to the pro-life movement, and many reasons for joining the pro-life movement. Simply dismissing all pro-lifers as those wanting to repress women is to ignore the diversity within the pro-life movement and dismiss the motivations for each person.

I'd like to end here on a note about dialogue. Pope Francis is a big proponent of dialogue; whenever there is strife between dissenting groups, the road to collaboration and understanding begins with dialogue and looking for common ground. Perhaps we can do that here, people. It seems like tensions between Pro-life and Pro-choice people will continue to build, but instead of assuming the worst about the individual who holds the opposing opinion, engage them in a dialogue. Ask them what they believe and why they believe it. Don't be afraid of discussion. In light of that, if anyone out there wants to know more about why I am pro-life, please don't hesitate to ask me.

Suffer in Silence

When I was a kid, whenever my dad suffered some slight, injustice, or injury, he would always repeat the mantra that he would just "Suffer in Silence." The irony of his verbalizations, spoken tongue in cheek, always made us children groan and/or giggle depending on the situation. The refrain was half joke, as is much of what my dad says, but a recollection of it got me thinking this Lent. Perhaps we could all do a little more of our suffering in silence?

Now, I'll start by explaining a bit what I don't mean. I don't mean to say that there isn't times to bring up and talk about our sufferings. Counseling services and grief support group meetings come to mind, for instance. Great healing can come from verbalizing our pain. Speaking up in light of injustices suffered to create a climate of change is key. When we verbalize these types of problems, we can let others that bear a silent burden know that they are not alone. Not shutting out our friends and letting them know what we are going through builds strong bridges between us. Even venting our frustrations can be useful at times.

Rather, the behavior I'm thinking about here is complaining. We all do it. It's very common in our culture. There are even rewards for complaining, like a free meal or free movie tickets for when our expectations aren't met.  It is very natural to start complaining. It's when we keep complaining that it can become a problem. I had a problem like this, mostly as a young adult. My problems- or even preferences- became someone else's problems, big time! If it wasn't right, you were going to hear about it from me. And with a bit of my father's temper, I could be pretty nasty about it.  I was rude on the phone to call center folks when I didn't get the answer I wanted to right away. I lost my temper at customer service professionals at the service desk for taking up too much of my time. Heck, I even threw an ill-fitting bra at the unsuspecting lady at a returns desk who would not let me return it since the tag was detached. Instead, it would have been much better if I had just suffered in silence.

Bishop Robert Barron, who makes popular videos on YouTube, mentioned in an interview recently that when he reads posts of people responding to his videos, he makes sure to remember that with each negative post, there is a person behind it. That person has real world problems and perhaps painful baggage that may make them react strongly and angrily to his work. He feels that it is part of his work to minister to those people.

How does Bishop Barron's perspective tie in to the idea to "Suffer in Silence"? Simply in that each complaint, each angry confrontation, the constant clammer to make every slight inconvenience up to us consumers, there is a receiving party. A person who might hang their head in shame when they read the scathing review we've posted about their restaurant or get in trouble for making too many costly errors when we insist on a whole new cheeseburger when we receive one with onions. There may be a waitress who doesn't have enough money for rent because we stiffed her tip for slow service. We flip the bird to a driver who cuts us off and they pass the bad vibe on by honking at someone else. When we choose to get angry, yell at customer service, rudely hang up on telemarketers, or generally create a stink, we've just made someone's day get worse. I've tried to learn to walk away and cool down before I hurt someone, even if it is just with my words. Treating all humans with respect and dignity can be hard. It can be humbling not to react angrily when someone else cuts you off, or flips you off. And, if it is too late and you've already lost your temper, make it right if you can by apologizing, rather than cowering and avoiding that person in embarrassment.

Of course, all those call center folks, hotel maids and restaurant workers deserve even more than a politely neutral interaction with us.Christ calls us to give of ourselves, even if we feel like we can only do just a tiny bit more. Leave a note for your hotel maid thanking her for caring for your room. I talk to a lot of phone representatives for my job, and I try to remember to ask how their day is going. See someone upset, angry or worried in a public place and ask them if you can help or just say "Rough Day, eh?" in a sympathetic tone. Then, just listen. We can brake to let someone over who just needs to merge to make it to their exit, and how about giving them a big smile and wave, too?  Saint Teresa of Calcutta sums this thought up well- "Let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love. We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do. Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty. We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness."

Why Lent?

At the end of winter each year, Catholics prepare for Easter with a season called Lent. By many modern day standards, lent is somewhat paradoxical- about giving away rather than getting; about your happiness rather than mine. It's not "Make America Great Again" but "Make America Good Again". It's not "Have it your way" Burger King style; but rather, don't be so worried if someone puts "GASP" an onion on your burger.

Lent starts with Ash Wednesday- the ultimate humility lesson. We proceed forward and the priest or a congregation member draws the sign of the cross on our foreheads, stating "Remember you are dust, and to dust you will return". This phrase is humility in its essence. If we were smack talking while playing basketball, this is the equivalent of "You an't all that".  God tells us this in a loving way. We are reminded in this scripture passage of the Genesis' creation account, where God forms Adam out of clay. The essence behind it is that we are creatures, created by a loving God. Our existence depends on Him who created us.  We cannot create new life on our own, nor can we will our own existence or even survival, no matter how many protein shakes we slurp or quinoa salads we crunch. Humility literally means "down or of the earth". We are organic beings at our core. No matter how mighty we try to rise, we need to recognize this, and recognize the humanity of others sharing the earth with us, as well.  

 

This biblical passage from Genesis is a quote from God: "Remember you are dust, and to dust you will return". God tells this to Adam and Eve in the garden right after the fall (Genesis 6). This passage reminds us that as humans, we have the tendency to make mistakes. No matter our best intentions, we wind up messing up, screwing up, putting someone down, losing our temper, falling into temptation, picking a fight, or glorifying ourselves, to name a few of the possibilities. This concept is known to Catholics as Original Sin. And it is perfectly normal and natural! Paradoxically, Christ reminds is that this is both normal and natural, but also that we are called to do better. Sin is in our default programming, but Christ rewrote the code to allow us to have an operating system that actually works! Weekly, monthly (or yearly!) partaking in the Sacrament of Reconciliation (AKA Confession) is the antivirus software He runs to keep us functioning in a state of grace. If you are not Catholic, then I would recommend personal repentance to the Lord, who is infinitely merciful.  

Even though we are reminded of our organic nature by Ash Wednesday, Lent at the same time reminds us that we are more. At its heart, Lent is a time that reminds us that we cannot be satisfied solely by the stuff of this world- "I can only rest when I rest in you". We are born to seek. We are born for higher fulfillment- a desire that always directs us towards God.  This means that although we are "of the earth" in our very nature, our soul hungers for more. We can see this time and again in our consumer society. If getting "stuff" truly satisfied us, those with more "stuff" would be more satisfied and those who had less would automatically be less satisfied. I get the sense that greed is the disordered passion for finding something that satisfies, that sets us on a path to desire more and more earthly goods. But nothing of this earth can satisfy, which is why we see many well-to-do people so thoroughly unsatisfied. Lent turns the equation on its ear.  Lent's new equation- Stuff + Stuff ≠ Happiness. By giving up something material, we realize that we didn't need it or want it to begin with. Lent reminds us we don't need this stuff, really. Lent is all about cleaning out the closet.

Will This Be Your Year?

Less than one week away! In less than one week, we will be celebrating the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ.  When we do, I welcome all of you- friends, family, and acquaintances to join us in Mass. In the Greater Denver area, find Christmas mass times at ArchDen.org. In Grand County, go to GrandCatholic.com

When I come to Christmas Eve mass next Saturday, or if I were to come next Sunday, I am sure to note a bulging in the pews beyond our usual congregation.  Of course, you might consider this due to extra travelers into our county- this is a ski town, after all. This is a time for families to come from near and far to visit each other and they also add to the numbers.  But every Catholic will tell you that each and every year for Christmas and Easter; their Churches are full beyond capacity. A good portion of these additional congregants are cradle-Catholics and other Christian and Non-Christian  seekers. I say a resounding WELCOME to you all! I am so glad you will be joining us for the birth of our Lord.!!

This extra presence tells me something. It tells me that the Holy Spirit is outside the walls of our churches and working in our communities.  It tells me that although the Spirit has been unwelcomed and even nearly banished in our secular culture, it is still engaged with the culture. Christianity is still getting through! The great Saint John Paul II, stated, ““The Gospel lives in conversation with culture, and if the Church holds back from the culture, the Gospel itself falls silent. Therefore, we must be fearless  . . .”Or to quote Christ himself, I say, “Be not afraid!”

If you are a seeker, either a cradle Catholic or a Christian or Non-Christian who isn’t sure where to go or what to do for this celebration of our Lord’s birth, but feel a whisper in your life that there is some spiritual call for you; some nudge for something more than this life can offer, and if you find yourself sitting in the pew of a Catholic Church this year, it is because the Holy Spirit is calling you.  We welcome you to join us.

But Christmas and Easter are just a start.  If you’ve been coming to Christmas and Easter every year out of duty, or confusion or you aren’t really sure why you are still there, the spark of faith you’ve received in baptism is slowly, slowly, slowly working in your life.  Help it out!  But how do you do that?

1. Ask for help.  Is there someone in your life you can ask to pray for you? Can you ask someone in the Church on Christmas or Easter to pray for you? There are many older people in our Churches, in particular, who would love to add you to their prayer list. You can also ask for help if this is the first Catholic service you’ve attended and you have questions.

2. Come back. Regularly if possible. If making a Sunday mass every week seems too daunting, take baby steps. First you might try adding a few more holy days. Did you know January 1st is also a Holy Day? You may also enjoy Ash Wednesday, Good Friday and Easter Sunday. If you enjoy Easter, come back in 40 days for Pentacost (for the Descent of the Holy Spirit). When you come to these masses, pray to be led. God will lead you back to him if you are willing. Click Here is a list of other Holy Days you may enjoy.

3. Think outside the box. Is Sunday Morning aspect of Church what is keeping you away? Maybe you work. Maybe you are a night owl and stay up late. Maybe you are really, really into football.  The good news is that if you live in a major metropolitan area, there are a variety of mass times available both on weekends and throughout the week. For instance, the Archdiocese of Denver has mass listings from Saturday at 4 pm to 8 pm. On Sunday from 6 am to 6 pm; nearly every half hour has a mass in Denver Metro;(Some hours in the afternoon are not represented).  Weekday morning and evening masses are also available and if social anxiety is a barrier for you to attend mass, you may enjoy the feeling of a daily mass in a nearly empty church. If the length of mass deters you (most catholic masses are between 1 and 1.5 hours- Christmas and Easter are the exceptions here), weekday masses may be as brief as a half hour.

4. Ask yourself: What is keeping me away? Frequently when you look at things closely, you find it isn’t a practical reason at all, but a spiritual one. Perhaps there is some barrier in your life. Perhaps you feel fear. Perhaps you feel shame for some past mistake. Perhaps you had a conflict with someone within the Church (Christians are Humans, too- we all make mistakes!) Maybe there is a feeling of indifference or disbelief that you struggle with. Christ has an answer to all challenges. Spend some time in prayer or meditating with the Bible for help.  Pray that Christ may remove your barriers and pray for a deepening in your faith, which is a gift from God. If you have received your first Holy Communion, you can get the Sacrament of Reconciliation and return to the sacramental life more fully.

5. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Many fallen away Catholics come to mass at Christmas, get inspired and decide- this year is the one- I’m really going to start going to mass again! Then, middle of February hits and they oversleep and miss their regular mass time one week and slowly slip back into their old habits. If this happens, just start back up again when you get a chance. The Sacrament of Reconciliation can help as you establish more regular habits.

6. Discuss fundamental disagreements with a devout Catholic. If you can’t get beyond the differences that you have, find a way to follow Christ anyway. I speak to many people who tell me that they loved the beauty and traditions of their Catholic upbringing, but found as adults that they disagreed with the Church’s teachings on X,Y, or Z. Bringing those disagreements to light and discussing them with a priest or another devout Catholic can help you discover if you have any misunderstandings about Church teachings (many do!) Pray for understanding. Also, I encourage you to find some way to follow Christ. If you feel that, no matter what, you will not be able to come back to the Catholic Church because of fundamental differences, this does not mean Christ has abandoned you! You can continue to follow him as one of many non-Catholic Christians. Pray that he will reveal the way for you.

7. I went to mass but I didn’t feel anything, so why should I go back? Sometimes, if we’ve fallen away, we come back hoping to feel some special spark, some special calling just for us. Then we get into a crowded church for Christmas mass, and that special feeling just doesn’t come.  Remember- this is just a feeling- pure emotion! We don’t decide whether or not we go to the dentist based on our feelings of fear. We go because we need to. We fundamentally need God in our lives, too! Many Christians feel the touch of the Holy Spirit moving about in their lives, but frequently, it is after they’ve gotten in the practice of looking. If you are beginning a habit of prayer and the sacramental life, you can be assured that God is working in your life whether or not you get a special feeling. You can see this over time when you examine changes in your life over the course of a whole year.

Fellow congregants, please remember to welcome those who join us this year! Your words of encouragement and welcome may allow the Holy Spirit to work more profoundly in a person’s life. We are all called to be Christ for one another. Look around you at mass on Christmas. Find one person or a family you don’t recognize and welcome them. (Make this a weekly habit, too). Who can you reveal Christ to?

For those of you who are still seeking, remember the words to “Go Tell It On The Mountain”:

When I was a seeker,

I sought both night and day;

I asked the Lord to help me,

And He showed me the Way!

Do you have questions about the Catholic faith? About Christ? About me? Feel free to comment below or send me a private message on Facebook.

The Catholic Church and Abortion

What a weighty title! Thanks for being willing to read this and not shying away from this subject that is so surrounded by controversy.

As I said in my previous blog, I feel the Catholic Church should not change its view on opposing contraception and abortion for several reasons, the chief one being that they got it right the first time. Today I will focus on the Catholic Church's right teaching on abortion.

Let me elaborate on why I feel this way. First of all, I'll reiterate that the church is not a political entity. It is under a moral obligation to speak truth. It is responsible for guiding the faithful and must not abandon any of its right teachings to placate either its followers or others in society.

To speak truth about abortion, we must first clearly define our terms. This means we have to look closely at conception. The Church, as well as science, defines conception as the moment that an egg is fertilized by a sperm. The church further views that at this moment of conception, a new person comes into being; unique and precious, complete and total. Nothing is left to be added, including the soul. The full essence of a person is encapsulated in this rapidly dividing embryo. Those who have studied embryology can attest that this is in fact so. DNA, the blueprint for building up this new human, is now combined from the father and mother in a unique genetic code. This human is also spiritually unique. It is key to note that this embryo's body is no more a part of its mother's body than my 11 year old daughter is a part of mine, although it is a great deal more dependent than my daughter is.

 If the whole component of human-ness wasn't present at conception, but became possible later on, say at implantation or after the brain is formed, then the science of in vitro fertilization - where sperm and egg are combined outside the human body to create embryos which are then implanted- would not be possible.  What is so great about this is that we get all of this from science; it is directly observable. This is one of the beautiful moments where church teaching and hard science waltz together in harmony and complimentarity.

So, if this embryo is a unique human at the moment of conception (I think it would be difficult in this day and age to deny this in the face of empirical evidence), then in an abortion, something takes this being to a state of unbeing. What is no longer is.

Then, we must look at whether is is always possible or necessary to provide human rights to all equally, or if some people should not garner the same rights. The most basic of the human rights is the right to life. I would argue that all people, if people, must be offered the same rights, must be viewed as equally valuable. In fact, mankind has made this mistake again and again with some horrendous results. The largest atrocities of history have come from the faulty mindset of favoring one group over another. It is the same problem no matter where you look- the error of slavery, with blacks being considered subhuman; the devastation of the holocaust, where many lost their lives due to a madman's use of propaganda to marginalize those on the peripheries of society; even to the oppressions of pre-civil rights America.  All these mindsets are based on the prideful thinking of one's individual rights being paramount over another's. There is always a stripping away of or denying humanity to the marginalized group. A parent should not kill her unborn child in the same way that she should not kill her 1 year old one- and she should not be led to believe  that is her only viable choice. No matter how painful or upsetting or distressing, it is fundamentally unfair and unjust for her rights to override those of the new person's.

While I do completely believe that abortion is wrong, and appreciate the church standing strong on this moral truth; I do not lose sight of the struggling young women who are making this choice. This is a choice that no one really wants to choose. Few women embrace and celebrate; proclaim their abortion, for all to see. They bear this infant as a major burden; and no wonder- they feel abandoned by those around them, many outside the support system of a secure relationship, many underage and without parental care or guidance. Money is a concern, fears of the future are also terrifying. This may be a young teen or preteen who knows that they cannot yet successfully parent. This may be a rape survivor, battered by trauma and wanting the whole ordeal to disappear. It could be an underage prostitute fearing the wrath of her pimp or a middle-aged woman coerced by her abusive spouse.  The woman could be struggling with substance abuse and be fearful of the effects on her unborn child. These women have no adequate support systems. They feel they have no good options.

Father Ryan O'Neill, Catholic priest from Grand County several years ago, relayed a story at mass about a young woman who verbally attacked him  at McDonald's regarding the Church's stance on abortion. His response to her? "God is pro-choice. But some choices are always wrong." God wants us to choose the course of our lives and gives us the freedom to do so. He also wants us to make good decisions, not grave errors.

Right or wrong, this woman is so vulnerable at this point, it may feel impossible to figure out what is the right thing, let alone choose it. This can be difficult in a society where the erroneous messages that abortion is no big deal and this is about her reproductive freedom loom large. In the middle of this chaos, this fear, this loneliness, making the best choice or even a decent choice may feel impossible. In the cases I described above, once the choice to terminate a pregnancy is made and the act is over, the crisis has not been removed and the difficulties are still very much present.  Rather, the truly compassionate answer is to give hope to the hopeless, comfort to the fearful, and help to this suffering soul. True help is a clear winner to an abortion.

Where does this help come from? The Christian community is also not blind to these vulnerable young women. For instance, Catholic Charities of Denver have many services to offer these women, as well as a home for women.  Many other Catholic and Christian groups also run crisis pregnancy centers in our state and worldwide. I currently volunteer in a crisis pregnancy center. The women who use our services are embraced and guided. They are not coerced or judged. We aim to meet them where they are at. They are given accurate information and are empowered to make decisions outside the realm of fear. They are given time. They are nurtured. Some women who enter our center do choose abortion- the gulf is too wide- and they are still loved. Many others choose to make a parenting plan or an adoption plan. During the subsequent stages of their pregnancy, they are given help with every detail- from navigating the adoption world to preparing to welcome their child through added services such as childbirth classes, parenting classes and breastfeeding support. At many centers, it is possible to find housing options if necessary. The goal is to help the woman and the child both.

Of those that choose abortion, the reactions are varied. Some may bear a secret pain; while others may seem to be able to dismiss this moment in their past fully. Others undergo a kind of unraveling of the fabric of their lives, undergoing  a downward spiral with major mental health problems as a result. Regret is a strong emotion in many women. For others, the pain becomes stronger when they conceive a child they plan to parent or when a friend or sister has a baby. For those who are still struggling deep inside with painful memories, post abortion healing is available at many crisis pregnancy centers. Women are given the chance to process the past, to bring it to light and to heal. A well known post abortion ministry is Project Rachel; many women have found solace through its programs. No mistake is too great for God's infinite mercy and his healing is available to all who ask for it.

Deep Misunderstandings

After reading the recently leaked email exchanges between Sandy Newman, president of Voices for Progress, and John Podesta, now head of the Hilary Clinton Campaign, about subverting the Catholic Church, I find both extreme religious intolerance and deep misunderstandings of the Catholic Church and religion in general. I am not a theologian, and have to admit that I am least among the Three Wise Monkeys in matters of faith, but I will try to explain in simple terms where the misunderstandings lie. If you have not yet had a chance to read the leaked emails, a recent post from Archbishop Chaput will serve nicely to summarize. The gist of Sandy Newman’s email is that Catholics need to rise up to demand the end of “a middle ages dictatorship” with regards to abortion and contraception, in particular. John Podesta then replies that “We created Catholics in Alliance for the Common Good to organize for a moment like this . . . likewise Catholics United” (emphasis added).

The level of insensitivity to something that is so deeply personal, so deeply meaningful to millions of Americans, is troublesome. So is the double standard- if there was an email that surfaced that was interested in getting Jewish people to violate the Sabbath or eat pork, or one that called to free Muslim women from the restraints of their burkas- the world would be outraged. Well, I am outraged. Mess with me, and I tend to be meek and mild. Mess with Holy Mother Church, and you will raise my ire. What gall that these individuals display- they have decided that they might be able to trim what is unpalatable for them; cut away the fabric of my faith and reform it into a garment that does not suit me at all.

Why does the Democratic Party even care what the Catholic Church teaches? A simple, inconvenient truth- no practicing Catholic, in good faith, will choose to vote for a pro-choice candidate. Period. Consider that there are an estimated 80 million Americans who are self professed Catholics. Of course, the number of practicing Catholics is somewhat less. Still, it is a sizeable number for the Democratic Party to walk away from. Hence the efforts to subvert- to drive the sheep from the fold.

So we come to the age old question. It is, after all,  2016- why is the Catholic Church still teaching that abortion and contraception are wrong? Why can’t we just “get with it”? Why are we stuck with this “backward, archaic, old fashioned teaching”? Why can’t the Church leadership just change their minds?

1. The Catholic Church is not a democracy. It is led by God. The Holy Spirit helps the bishops select the Pope- our earthly leader., There is a direct succession of Popes from the first; from St. Peter to Pope Francis. We don’t vote on these things. That’s a good thing. It prevents popular opinion from polluting moral teaching. Popular opinion can be wrong- look at parachute pants!
   
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2. Church leaders have really, really, really delved into this stuff.  When hormonal birth control first came out, it was talked about by the church leaders. They prayed about it extensively. They read. They discussed. They consulted the Word of God (AKA the Bible). They wrote extensive documents to lead our Church in this matter. They talked to lay women and religious sisters. Things that I don’t think about or haven’t considered- they considered. 
3. They won’t change their minds because they shouldn’t. They got it right the first time. Curious about why? Soon, I am planning on writing more about that as well. At any rate, Catholics, in our practice of religion, should be able to practice our faith according to our First Amendment rights without worrying about whether we meet up with popular opinion
   

The take home message from this revealing exchange? Religious intolerance is to be expected from the Clinton Camp, and if she is elected, we will likely see this trend continue. In the meantime, if you want to know why the Catholic Church teaches something, ask a devout Catholic layperson or priest.  There is no need to speculate when sound reasoning is available. Blessings!

Recent Adventures in Impatience

I hadn't planned to spend Easter in Yankton. I was excited to spend Easter with some friends in Iowa, especially as the rest of my weekend I spent alone, housesitting. But Easter Sunday proved to be a day of the unexpected and inconvenient. As I was driving through town, my car decided to die at a red light. It started up again, after I put on my hazard lights and switched it back to park. I figured that something was probably wrong with that mysterious realm under the hood. I hoped that it was the battery. I took it to the Walmart on the outskirts of town. They prepared to change the battery. I wandered the store until I heard my name, mispronounced, and a message urging me to return to the auto center.

"It's not your battery, ma'am," the attendant informed me, "your old battery had charge, about as much as it should have. But when we put the new battery in and tried to start it, it wouldn't start."

He recommended putting the old battery back in, which I agreed to.

By and by, he shuffled back in. "It still won't start. Let me show you what it's doing." He handed me the protective glasses for the rare visitors to the back of the garage.

No doubt he was feeling fatherly as he explained if there is battery trouble then electrical things, such as the lights and radio, won't come on. He tried starting it again. It turned over and over, but the engine failed to start. He got out and I got in. Nothing happened. My poor Volkswagen refused to start.

"It's probably some problem with gas getting to the engine, like a fuel pump problem, or something."

Well, the only thing that he could do for me was put it in neutral and get it out of the garage.

In a rare moment of foresight, I had added roadside assistance to my insurance policy as I switched states. I called the 800 number and had a pleasant conversation with the helpful customer representative. At least I could get the car towed somewhere.

I knew then that it would be a day of waiting, and that nothing would go to plan. I sat in my car, reading Rumer Godden's memoirs and waiting for the tow truck. My kite and sun hat half-mocked me as they reminded me of what I had expected that wasn't to be now.

The tow truck arrived sooner than estimated and another kindly older man hopped out. I watched the shame of my vehicle being winched up onto the platform. There's something heart-wrenching about a tow, that brings a feeling of guilt to a negligent car owner.

Wiser heads have come up with adages for such situations. Patient old grannies would shake their heads and mutter, "a stitch in time saves nine." Ah yes, I thought, ignoring check engine lights and the increasing reluctance of the engine to start leads to situations such as this one. Patience is necessary to be a good car owner.

The tow trucker driver was helpful, the car was moved to a shop to await a workday and a mechanic's attention. I was dropped off at my apartment, laden with hat, kite, and all the other paraphernalia that I had expected possibly needing for a delightful Easter.

So I walked over the bridge to Nebraska and sat in the sand by the river. I talked to my family. I read T.S. Eliot.

I walked the dog. I discovered some flowers along the creek that runs through town.

I came back and ate an Easter dinner of tacos. I drank a hard cider. I sat on the porch and smoked the pipe that my brother made me. I read some more Godden.

It was a slow afternoon. It was a very slow afternoon. At long last the slowness was relieved by the arrival of my roommate and her brother.

And I am lacking in patience.

I might paraphrase St. Augustine's famous prayer into "O Lord grant me patience, but not yet."

But Easter is about a way out of our sinful, vice-laden existence. Christ has conquered death.

The acquiring of virtue is something that I don't understand fully. I want to be patient, but how does one become patient? Isn't it by being patient, and after failing to be patient, trying to be patient again? I suppose one strives to be patient with the inconvenient, that one humbly begs for God's help, and that one does not ignore the small signs which indicate that trouble is brewing in the engines of life.