Who is sitting around your Thanksgiving table today? Friends, family, coworkers? Do you love those there? Probably, if you invited them, at least! Do you fight about politics with them? Do you dread the interactions because of landmine issues? Are you silently seething but won't speak up to keep the peace? Or are you the muzzled, non-disclosure type, in a sanitized group who dare not speak of those forbidden subjects- religion and politics?
It doesn't matter what your political views are right now; you probably are surprised and chagrined by the level of animosity out there in our polarized political climate. As I mentioned in a previous blog, my sister-in-law was followed by another vehicle's owners because they were angry about her bumper sticker. Our political leaders set poor examples during public discourse as rules of common decency are ignored. And who out there has de-friended or at least snoozed someone they love (or at least like) because of posts of political content? When did we get so afraid to tolerate discussion? When did discourse get replaced by insults?
I recently watched a talk by Dr. Arthur Brooks, Harvard Professor. In it, he introduced me to the words "Motive Attribution Asymetry". This is a term for 2 parties in an intractable conflict - they believe that they each are motivated by love, but the other side is motivated by hatred, so there is no reason to talk. This is actually a cognitive error. Both sides can't be right, so one side is wrong or both. Think major world conflicts. Think of the worst divorce you've ever encountered.
Dr. Arthur Brooks, in his scholarly pursuits, read an article in the Proceedings of the Natural Academy of Sciences about Motive Attribution Asymetry. What is striking is that the authors concluded (back in February 2014) that Democrats and Republicans were demonstrating the same level of Motive Attribution Asymetry as Palestinians and Isrealis! Do you think relations have improved since then? "When Left and Right are acting like hostile foes or blood enemies, there is no way we can make progress, we go nowhere" Dr. Arthur Brooks summarizes. How many government shutdowns have we encountered in recent years?
Who doesn't love to be right? To surround yourself with those who agree and sneer at those who don't. And if you are too polite to sneer to someone's face, in the more hostile worlds of social media you may be just fine reposting a meme calling someone a racist for wearing a hat. Because you agree! Without thinking about why someone else has the view they have. Without caring for them as an individual. Without understanding. They are a villain, plain and simple.
We are all so sure we're the ones who are right! Not only is that other side stupid and evil, but they are responsible for all those problems out there! Too bad problems have been happening to humanity since the beginning. That kind of throws a wrench in the works. Maybe there are some good ideas from both sides!?!
My challenge to you today? First, watch the Dr. Brooks talk (it is attached below) as he has some phenomenal ideas about actually fixing the situation! Secondly, when you run into something you don't agree with online, try to consider the other person's viewpoint and if you do respond, so so respectfully. We are all humans and deserve that. Third, for those who are afraid to discuss the "unspeakables", start up a political or religious discussion with someone you know and listen considerately to their viewpoint. This world needs more love and less hate!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=emb_title&v=3CeZb3zK_Qw&fbclid=IwAR3uYXNLmX83ZxZ3ermhh15PyaMAgMI_Om4iCZmN_UmFS-zGjD-29Tejy08
