Again, we are reaching the time of year where we begin the season of Lent. This season is one of repentance, which means "turning back". When mistakes are made, repentance is in the grace required to turn to our loved ones with "I'm Sorry" or "You were right" or even simply, "Peace".
Some of the disciplines we Catholics focus on this time of year are fasting, abstinence from meat, and almsgiving. Frequently, a Catholic may choose an item they will fast from or give up during Lent. Abstinence from meat is expected on Fridays during Lent as well as Ash Wednesday. Fasting is expected on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday for Catholics 18-59 years of age and eating less food less frequently is the aim of this practice. Almsgiving is the practice of giving additional offerings, typically financial or acts of service, and usually for the aid of the most poverty stricken or vulnerable members of humanity. While some criticize these practices as old fashioned, they are still more relevant than ever. But what is the point of these ancient practices?
There are a lot of ways these three practices are valuable. At its core, almsgiving is a life giving practice because we provide money for food and shelter to people who need it most through programs such as "Operation Rice Bowl" and "Catholic Relief Services". Abstaining from meat as well as fasting can be part of this life-giving practice as well, as the original concept of "Operation Rice Bowl" was to take the money not spent on those food and beverage items and give it to the poor. So, the utilization of the resources that I would otherwise consume myself is now given to others, doing good to those who need it most.
Other than the simple giving aspect of these practices, I believe there is something else powerful going on. These 3 practices all involve discipline. Say, for instance, I decide I will not eat chocolate during Lent (for the record, I would never do something so challenging, LOL!). I now have the opportunity to ask the Lord for help in overcoming temptation. If I fail, I have the opportunity to try again and recognize God's mercy and abundance of love for my stumbling self. In the times I do succeed, I realize I can control myself. I can control my appetites. I grow in virtue and my connection with the Lord grows as I rely on his help to battle temptations. I can say "No" to myself; I can defer enjoyment. I don't have to live "in my stomach" or "in my emotions".
Wait! Why is being able to deny myself or my wants or even needs an important skill to have? Aren't my wants or needs important? Is there something wrong with me enjoying myself?
The answer lies in the circumstances, and requires discernment. Certainly, your wants and needs, and meeting those, can be important and valuable. Self care is important! But living in a family, we can certainly recognize that there are times that someone else's wants and needs trump my own. I may need time out with my girlfriends, but my daughter needs to go to the doctor more! I may want to spend money on new furnishings, but my husband may need the money for his medications more. Being able to weigh the needs and the wants of the whole family, and strike a balance, is key to the well-being of the family. When it doesn't happen appropriately, strife and conflict ensue. Think of couples going through a divorce- how frequently an imbalance in wants and needs between the partners is at the core of the root problem!
Then there are times that my wants or needs are outright destructive. Think of a parent battling alcoholism. Their entire family has gathered for an intervention. Health has deteriorated. Childcare needs are not being met. The parent knows and admits they have a problem with drinking, but they can't control it. My point is not that this individual should do such and such, have more discipline, etc. There are many different paths for helping this individual (Rehab, AA, Celebrate Recovery, etc). My point is simply that our desires, at their core, can be for something negative.
Practicing a discipline where we deny ourselves for the good of others systematically, even in a small Lenten practice, normalizes this skill for us. It gives us baby steps to practice on. Children can use the Lenten practices to learn more self control as well! Even something as simple as learning the self control not to take that second cupcake is difficult (failed that one last night!) The more we practice any skill, the easier it will become, which will lead to a better balance within ourselves. How many of us eat what we know we should and exercise as we know we should? Making some small effort in our Lenten practices can foster mindfulness in our choices in these regards as well.
Beyond the typical types of self denial and self sacrifice, lifelong practicing and honing those skills gave saints like Saint Maximillian Kolbe the spiritual strength to make the ultimate sacrifice to save another. In less spectacular ways, all of our society benefits when people have the self control to live in a lawful, orderly society. Even skills such as taking turns or not interrupting at their roots involve self denial in a small way.
What is really great is this is all customizable! We pray and then choose a discipline that will work for us. It certainly doesn't have to be a food item, either. If you are having trouble choosing, consider one of these optionsAleteia: 10 things to give up for Lent besides chocolate
Once we've chosen a discipline, the point is not to do it perfectly! The point is to try. And a quick disclaimer - I am personally terrible at fasting. No sooner than I know I'm fasting than I am thinking about food! But, not being good at it is kind of the point- and kind of why we need it!
Lastly, all the disciplines in the word won't bring us closer to the Lord without prayer! Fasting and prayer should go hand in hand as we turn over our wants and desires to Him. Please have a peace filled and fulfilling Lenten season.
